 Mid-log Straddling Shuffle |
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Noun
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 Definition 1: While beginning to take a shit, you realize that you absolutely must have a particular object out of your immediate reach during this shit, however, the turd already has its turtle head poking out. For reasons beyond your control, you decide to get the object before letting this first turd drop down into the bowl, so you must perform the following manuever.
While straddling your legs as you would while sitting down on the toilet, gently lift yourself into an upright position from which you can walk. Then, similarly to a sumo wrestler, you must move one leg at a time, by pivoting off each leg to advance the other leg. However, this motion is only a small part of it, the other of course is the pressure you're applying with your sphincter muscle to the turd. Too little pressure and the turd's head will be pinched off and will drop to the floor below or too much pressure and the turd will be flying out of your anus onto the first object in the way of its trajectory. You my friend are balancing on a tight rope with this turd, but for some reason the object you needed was just too important to not have for the rest of the (comparatively) mundane movement. |
 Usage Example: A novice who attempts the mid-log straddling shuffle can easily end up dropping a deuce on his bathroom floor.
Usage Example 2: I was compelled to cut my nails while taking a shit mid-shit so I invented and performed the mid-log straddling shuffle just to get a pair of scissors. |
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Submitted by lightwizard420
on 11/18/2004
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 1 comments |
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