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Do you like Big Boobs? These hefty's are looking for you.

By Lyle Comment posted: 2/5/2006
Been a while since I have checked in, and I see some fart-breath has multi-voted this word down. In any event, San Jose isn't the hottest team in the NHL, but I still hope they make the playoffs. If so, I will definitely make my wife agree to being the Canadian Coffee Table. I swear, if she bitches about my beer being cold on her back this time, I'm gonna spill it on her, just to prove a point.   Reply

By TeddyJackEddy Comment posted: 2/3/2006
You want a taste of my asshole too Steve? Then shut your fucking dick hugger! I bet your asshole tastes like shit!...but I would still lick it!   Reply

By Steve Comment posted: 2/2/2006
What's with all the negative, vile, crappy comments here lately? Seems it's heteros vs the fags. Hey, it's almost Super Bowl Sunday so I bet there's going to be a lot of Canadian Coffee Tables being put to good use during the big game!   Reply

By TeddyJackEddie Comment posted: 12/20/2005

By TeddyJackEddie Comment posted: 12/19/2005
I know your the faggot talking shit on my words.We are going to stomp your ass for that someday and in the mean time,trash all the shit words you got.If you arent the one doing this to us,lick my asshole anyway bitch!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 11/26/2005
bleeks is a fucking boner taster   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 11/21/2005
No thanks, you have V.D.   Reply

By Bleeks Comment posted: 11/21/2005
Fuck You Lyle!   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 11/17/2005
Darklotusfire is probably some zitty school girl who doesn't even know what "doggy style" means, and who likely thinks "Hockey" is a slang word meaning bullshit.   Reply

By Steve Comment posted: 10/28/2005
Darklotusfire, you are an idiot! This is a 4-star word, but if you can do better, I'll watch for a submission or two from you in the next "New Words" section.   Reply

By darklotusfire from usa Comment posted: 10/28/2005
that's the stupidist thing i've ever read!!!!!   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 10/9/2005
Do the Mighty Ducks still exist? They are crap.   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 10/8/2005
Actually I live in San Diego, but San Jose is closest NHL team. I haven't seen a game yet though this season.   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 10/7/2005
Hey Lyle, the NHL started couple nights ago but who's watching? You live in San Jose, to watch the Sharks locally? ESPN dropped showing hockey, and some channel called Outdoor Life Network picked it up. Who the fuck has OLN on their cable package? Oh btw, I don't think Cleveland has a hockey team, but since Steve mentioned football games, I suppose that Joan broad is put to good use on Saturday afternoons for college games and Sunday afternoons for the NFL games.   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 10/4/2005
I think hockey starts soon, but there have only been exhibition games so far in some parts. Go SAN JOSE! Oh yeah, I better get my "table" ready for this season.   Reply

By El Gringo Diablo from San Jose Comment posted: 9/21/2005
And if not mistaken the NHL is in too after a strike, so even more 'tables' will be put into use!!!   Reply

By Steve Comment posted: 9/21/2005
With the NFL season started, there must be a lot of Canadian Coffee Tables being put to good use on Sunday afternoons, since use is not limited to Canada.   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 9/8/2005
Rambo, that sounds like a racial stab, not funny at all. And QUIT YELLING!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 9/8/2005
how fuckin stupid rambo! the object here is to be funny! BTW, submit your stupid ass words to eddie so we dont have to deal with this shit you come up with!   Reply

By rambo Comment posted: 9/8/2005

By Lyle Comment posted: 9/2/2005
Heheheh. Well, Seth, how about next time you give Boss hogg a gummer you try it out and let us know what happens, k?   Reply

By seth Comment posted: 8/31/2005
what would happen if you actually blew into the tip of a dick while giving a blowjob? would the sack fill up like a balloon? or maybe your bladder?   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 8/31/2005
does your ear have to be close to YOUR ass to hear yourself fart? FUCK NO!!!   Reply

By randy Comment posted: 8/30/2005
because your ear isn't near the dog' ass?   Reply

By Kyle Comment posted: 8/30/2005
why is it that when a dog farts, you usually dont hear it?   Reply

By bill Comment posted: 8/29/2005
i was wondering what canadians thought of south park:the movie! you know the bit about blameing canada! i want honest answers because its an honest question!   Reply

By Sloppy Anus from Between the Cheeks Comment posted: 8/28/2005
Kiss me! Im dirty!   Reply

By steve Comment posted: 8/27/2005
the "unknown" troll stikes again   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 8/27/2005
fuck all this serious shit! lets not get distracted from the stuff we come here for.....!   Reply

By Frank Comment posted: 8/26/2005
Lyle, seems "unknown" is one of those brainwashed NEOCONS who spends way too much time watching FauxNews (aka the GOP Infomercial). I support the troops, but not Shrub's war and resent being called un-Patriotic, etc. I spent 17 mos in Vietnam, which Iraq is quickly becoming, no matter how Drudge, Rush and Fox want to spin it!   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 8/26/2005
Hey fella, read my post again, you may have done it in haste the first time around... Wait just a sec... you wouldn't be the " Canadian Asshole" by chance would you?   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 8/26/2005
Hey I have nothing against Canadians, that is most certain. My family is Dutch, and if not for the Canucks freeing up the Netherlands in the war, things may have been quite unpleasant for my people. Hats off to the Canadian soldiers... I bet their fighting men would have been eager to help us in the middle East, but they had to take orders form ol' crooked face Chretien there. I get mad at Americans who trash our upstairs neighbors over the Iraq B.S. It was the decision of one dumb hose head, not an entire country. As for Mr "Canadian Asshole", honestly, how could one resist?   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 8/25/2005
yeah yeah.....everyone talks so much shit about how Americans need to watch out when they come to their country!Its like picking a fight with an individual while your with 20 of your friends! Why dont you come to America and tell us how tough you are!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 8/25/2005
hey steve the REAL canadian asshole...the fact that he is canadian has nothing to do with all the insults about being a canadian asshole!!!the point is it doesnt matter what country he was from but making a grammatical error was an opportunity anyone would jump on!BTW...I would think you canadians would have more respect for the country that keeps you all safe!EH?   Reply

By steve Comment posted: 8/25/2005
Hey Canadian asshole, It's ok I've been a Canadian asshole my whole life. Doesn't bother me none, I think there's about 30 million other assholes like me out there. Just seems funny that our neighbours to the south think so highly of us just because you forgot a comma, hmmmm how far will ya get in Europe (or the rest of the world for that matter) wearing an American flag on your backpack?   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 8/21/2005
Oh and BTW, to Mr "Canadian Asshole", I would normally try to cook you, but you did a great job of doing that for me. Bravo, Canadian Asshole!   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 8/21/2005
Chris, for all we both know, I probably tagged yer ass already 15 years ago. As far as jacking off goes, well, let's just say that when you get married, you don't need to shake hands with the governor anymore. Too bad you'll never know what that is like.   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 8/21/2005
Hey Chris, what type of special girl are you, that most here would only get to jack-off to you? We all know what Joan Divoky looks like, but we don't know how hot YOU look, so describe yourself for us!   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 8/21/2005
Lyle....you bastard!!!People are starting to comment about me instead of Joan! I dont really care about it but you are probably enjoying every minute of it! By the way guys, Im the type of girl you have to jerk off to because Im outta your league! Especially you Lyle! You biker types are always wanting it the most but you know you cant have this! You wish asshole!   Reply

By ECH Comment posted: 8/21/2005
Im back!!!I see someone named cbray replaced me in the bottom 100!Maybe now you ignorant bastards will vote on my words honestly now!Thanks cbray!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 8/21/2005
first of all....i dont know how some canadian could be offended by this word! second...the offended canadian self proclaimed asshole fucked himself by his stupid comment! what was he trying to prove by saying what he said? did he think lyle would retract his word because he offended some canadian? HEY CANADIAN ASSHOLE.....THE ENTIRE TURDWORDS SITE IS QUITE OFFENSIVE TO MOST OF THE CIVILIZED WORLD!!!!WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL?   Reply

By Mick Mars Comment posted: 8/20/2005
You are a Canadian asshole? Wow you must be proud! Congratulations you Canadian asshole!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 8/20/2005
Hey fuck you I am a Canadian asshole!!!   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 8/9/2005
I hate you and all but you assholes have to check out what bleeks likes to do! Check out "Frigid Clam" and youll see what I mean! BTW....I didnt do it!   Reply

By dean markley Comment posted: 8/8/2005
hey lyle you should use Joan Divoky as a table for the beer you arte drinking, and you could hand chris the case since she is so cold you could use her as a fridge.   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 8/4/2005
Hey Lyle, I was wondering what you look like? Not that I care but just curious! My guess is your fat and hairy!   Reply

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By Randy b Comment posted: 8/3/2005
So true, this slang term will be used in my house for decades. I thank the author for the laughs.   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/31/2005
Yeah, I think Eddie just hit the "OK" button on every word last time around. (Probably in a hurry to do something else.) There wasn't a single word in the whole list worthy of the TW dictionary, but to listen to cbray, his words were accepted so they must be OK.   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/30/2005
Get a load of cbray taking over in the bottom 100 for ECH!   Reply

By Frank Comment posted: 7/29/2005
Wow Lyle, it seems you have an instant Classic with this word. Good to see it's still on top!   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 7/29/2005
Fuck me Chris? No thanks, you have AIDS from sharing needles. I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole (unless I was swinging it like a bat). Now get back downtown and bob for more purple helmets, I know how you need your heroin money.   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 7/29/2005
Fuck you Lyle!!!You couldnt handle me!Dont hate me for it!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/26/2005
Chris - do you strap it on or are you the catcher? To be perfectly honest, I agree with your lifestyle. I can't imagine any woman wanting to wake up next to a hairy creature who farts loudly and often, belches, hits women, uses foul language constantly, rarely bathes or shaves and has dingleberries the size of acorns.   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/25/2005
This word is funny as hell. 4 solid stars.   Reply

By mark666 Comment posted: 7/25/2005
as always Lyles comments are prime!!   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 7/25/2005
Actually, old biker has-been would be correct, and since I managed to keep my ass out of the pen, I never had to take it up the crap hatch. Weren't you that scraggly old crack whore heroin addict peeler that used to perform at Monty's in San Diego? As I remember, you had more trackmarks than a road atlas, and you used to bob on the knob so you could afford your next fix. Good to see you have managed to pull yourself out of the gutter. Better late than never, but since you are all ragged and used up now, I guess your days of working as a peeler whore are over. How do you like working at McDonalds anyway? The pay is probably better than your previous career. Careful not to drop those sagging fake tits of yours onto the grill, it might smart a tad.   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 7/22/2005
You're still on top?? I thought you were one of those old biker wanna be's that takes it from behind. glad you're on the way down, just like your old small pecker. Prick(with love)   Reply

By Dustin Chewy Comment posted: 7/22/2005
Hey Lyle, I got a good definition for a word but I cant think of a good name. I think you can help me if you would? I dont want to many to see it yet and this word is hoppin so see "ass cuctus"!   Reply

By donny Comment posted: 7/21/2005
i will try hard not to be rude but I believe this is one of those "obvious" Joan comments I have been talking about! this guy may be an ok guy but man, your going to have to be more creative than just placing joan as one of the subjects without adding to the situation. add a little spice to it! hell, we can all add joan to any word so we dont need your help.   Reply

By Unknown from usa Comment posted: 7/21/2005
Anyone else think that "Joan" would make a sturdy Canadian Coffee Table (she supposedly has great "legs")?   Reply

By Pondering Gary from Mind Comment posted: 7/18/2005
Will the woman go get you another beer during commercials? Will she cook more bacon?   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 7/17/2005
I am not gay but I would be if I was a guy! Dont blow it for the rest of them asshole! I love the attention though!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/16/2005
Interesting comment. Chris sounds like a gay guy to me by his language; but maybe could be a dyke or tranny. At least we know Joan has female genitalia.   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/16/2005
So Chris is a babe...maybe a dyke. From Chris' word "tilf" (Teacher I'd love to Fuck) "ms.t is a tilf." Chris wants to get it on with MS. t? In Chris' 66 words, tilf has 2 stars...anus indulger has 2 stars... Ass Crystals - 1 star... Balls Deep - 2 stars... Shake the Mink - 2 stars... Stroking the one-eyed wonder worm - 2 stars... Not a great record, bedsides "Applause From the Back Row." Maybe Chris can replace Joan Divoky, the Art Teacher, as the butt of jokes on this site. BTW, great word, Lyle.   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 7/15/2005
Indeed it is nice to see things going again in the NHL. Most if not all of my friends couldn't care less about hockey, but I for one am happy it is back. I wish I could skate or I would try playing the game too. I busted my ankle pretty bad when I dumped my bike many years ago, so I don't want to risk it.   Reply

By Dustin Chewy Comment posted: 7/14/2005
Hey, I am a hockey fan too! Was much bigger about 6-7 years ago though! Your going to laugh but now they have this new deal, Pittsburgh is going to turn thing around!You just watch! I agree Lyle, Calgary did get robbed!   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 7/14/2005
You're a Canuck Bleeks? I actually like hockey too, but I live in the U.S. I will have to testify that while I was rooting for Tampa, I still think the Calgary Flames got robbed of the cup.   Reply

By The real Bleeks Comment posted: 7/14/2005
Great word! And how true, we Canadians do love our hockey, & if we can find ourselves a Canadian Coffee Table, then she's a keeper.   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 7/13/2005
Down Boy!!!Thats more of what I am used to hearing!Lets find out who else wants to play!   Reply

By Bleeks Comment posted: 7/13/2005
Chris, I want to stick my rod deep up your ass.You sound like a hot piece of ass, so i will give you all the cock you need. You will swallow a mouthful, babe.   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 7/13/2005
I just wanted to say that if I gave all of you guys lap dances, you would cum all over yourselves while I walk away laughing! I;m a hot piece of ass you know! If you all saw me, you may just treat me different! Although most are not worthy, the lucky ones would be ruined forever! Dont fuck with me or you wont have a chance! I swallow!!!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/13/2005
its not old in the good ol USA! At least I have never heard it before! Maybe it wouldnt be such an insult to Canadians if hockey didnt strike this year!Fuck em anyway! its a good word...ey!!   Reply

By Frank Comment posted: 7/13/2005
I for one, don't consider it plagiarism if he said where he got the idea from. I doubt Lyle pumps his OWN words.   Reply

By UNKNOWN Comment posted: 7/13/2005

By wil Comment posted: 7/12/2005
That is the funnyest thing I have read in years!   Reply

By dean markley Comment posted: 7/12/2005
good word lyle 3 stars! Hey chris, i am glad you told us you are a girl, i never would know from the picture you sent me in the mail. you have a nicer mustash than my dad!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/11/2005
Your a dirty stripper! I understand a bunch of guys but a girl? Nasty ho!!!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/11/2005
Are you the "Chris" with 66 words? Just curious, because some are 4-star.   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 7/11/2005
As a matter of fact, I have no genitals you fucking idiot. I am a girl, but how would you know? You are obviously stupid. Lyle.. I used to be a stripper and it was always guys like you that sat in the front row, drooling over something they could never have. Unless you paid for it. By the sounds of it all you do is browse this site and fondle yourself to keep busy. Let me guess, I bet you are a fat, over-weight balding middle aged man who lives in a lonely apartment. And I bet once you read this we will all the info on how awesome you think yourself to be. But I bet I am right.   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 7/11/2005
Chris' anger is a direct result of him having small genitals.   Reply

By Pete Comment posted: 7/11/2005
BTW Chris, What words of yours are in the top 20?   Reply

By Chris Comment posted: 7/11/2005
Fuck you all. My words are better than this crap. Mine are still in the top 20. So blow me Lyle. And I cant believe you didnt know what the short bus was. You must have been on it and your folks just told you it was just a more special way to get you to school.   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 7/11/2005
Heh, I never would have thought of the small school busses as being for 'tards, but hey, I grew up in a different age. The big cheese wagons were for the city kids, and the small ones were for those who lived out of town. How things change.   Reply

By Dustin Chewy Comment posted: 7/11/2005
I agree Lyle!!Obviously the Turdwords crowd likes the word!I've been keeping an eye on its progress and its straight! Oh, and the "short bus" is what the retarded kids ride to school in!It looks like a short school bus! I guess it makes Chris feel better to poke fun at the defenseless retarded kids!(Not you Lyle!) I like how the angry guy put it...If Chris thinks it sucks, come up with something better!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/10/2005
If "Chris" is the "Chris" on the submitter list then he has a lot of words but none of them are worth shit! So many words and not one worthy! paynus needs to calm his ass down though unless you are lyles wife!   Reply

By Paynus Comment posted: 7/10/2005
Hey Chris, your short bus comments is older than Jesus!!! If you got the time to sit at your 5ip computer and vote words down then make sure you replace them with your top notch words that nobody knows about! Quit talking shit and show "US" what you got you fucking queer! Lets see how GREAT your words are! I'll bet your faggot ass wont post SHIT!!!PUSSY!!!WHAT UP BITCH!!!!!!!We are waiting for you big bad ass words.........?   Reply

By Dustin Chewy Comment posted: 7/7/2005
Lyle, the mouse was still alive my friend! Remember, they raised it in the bottle!   Reply

By noni mous from pay stall #3 Comment posted: 7/7/2005
agree with the others. Great word Lyle! All you need is some bear grease to lube up her spokes!   Reply

By Lyle Comment posted: 7/7/2005
Make that a FREE 24 of Elsinore, because there was like, a dead mouse in the bottle eh!   Reply

By Dustin Chewy Comment posted: 7/6/2005
BTW If I could Lyle, I'd buy you an Elsinore or two!   Reply

By Dustin Chewy Comment posted: 7/6/2005
19 is the legal drinking age in Canada and I lived close to Niagara Falls so I visited often when I was younger and noticed they love hockey so much, its on their money. I'll bet it has been done a time or two! Great word Lyle!   Reply

By Unknown Comment posted: 7/6/2005
Hey Lyle, GREAT word! I've read some of your comments about that "Joan" broad, but she definately comes to mind reading this one. I don't have any real funny comment about her (that Donny dude gets pissed if it's not funny). I really hate the "regional" names, unless they make sense. The "bacon, hockey" reference does it for me, but are you Canadian by chance? You snack on bacon with beer? I never thoght of that combo, but it really does sound good. Plus, you'd have the bacon grease if your "table" needed a lube job.   Reply

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