| Stall Scrawls - Bathroom Wall Quotes
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| One of the last untapped (and overlooked) sources of poetry is the stuff found on the stalls of the local bathroom. Sure, we've seen the usual crap, like "Call Betsy for a good time" or "My penis is huge" but occasionally while dropping the kids off at the pool we've seen genius at work. Perhaps even you have taken the time to write something creative, share it with us. Either way, read our user submitted collection of bathroom wall quotes from around the world. |
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| At TurdWords.Com, we've given you the opportunity to gain wisdom from the scrawlings of other scatalogically inclined people, such as yourself. Check out what your fellow visitors have recorded below or feel free to submit one of your own. |
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Showing 51-75 of 199
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Mary had a little lamb,
and it was always gruntin'
So she tied it to a wooden gate,
And kicked its fucking cunt in.
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Submitted by: Odi
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Added: 3/19/2003
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(1224 votes)
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Found At: A bog in Leatherhead Petrol Station + Exam Desk
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They say when shit-house poets die
They go to places in the sky
Where in memory of their wit
Stand monuments of solid shit
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Submitted by: Mungo Jerry
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Added: 3/22/2003
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(1323 votes)
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Found At: Howard Johnson's
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Oh I wish I were a diamond
Upon my Lula's hand
Then every time she wiped her ass
I'd see the promised land.
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Submitted by: Mungo Jerry
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Added: 3/22/2003
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(4186 votes)
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Found At: Sid's Tamale House
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A man who would stand
With his cock in his hand
And piss all over the seat
Well he ought to be thrashed
His cock and balls smashed
And his ass kicked all over the street
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Submitted by: Mungo Jerry
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Added: 3/22/2003
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(1215 votes)
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Found At: The Hurdy Gurdy
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Here I sit, tired and hurtin'
Just gave birth to another Alberta
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Submitted by: Pete
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Added: 3/22/2003
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(1290 votes)
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Found At: shithouse stall in Vancouver B.C.
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The night was dark, the sky war blue
Around the corner, the shit waggon flew
A bum was hit, a scream was heard
A man got killed by a flying turd
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Submitted by: Seth
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Added: 3/22/2003
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(1296 votes)
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Found At: folk song
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Those who write on restroom walls
Roll their shit in little balls.
They who read these words of wit
Eat the little balls of shit.
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Submitted by: Speedo
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Added: 3/22/2003
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(1898 votes)
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Found At: Lebanon, Indiana
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"We aim to please.
You aim too, please."
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Submitted by: Beth
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Added: 3/23/2003
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(1182 votes)
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Found At: Over a toilet in a coffee shop.
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This little throne is all our own
We try to keep it clean and neat.
So please be kind with your behind
And don't shit on the seat.
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Submitted by: ChefTodd
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Added: 3/25/2003
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(1230 votes)
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Found At: My own bathroom
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Here I sit and medatate,
Should i piss or masterbate;
Cock in hand I opt for fun
I take a piss and shoot some cum .
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Submitted by: Jeff
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Added: 3/26/2003
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(1335 votes)
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Found At: Market Basket store Lee , NH
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If you voted for Bush,
you can't shit here...
because your asshole's in Washington
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Submitted by: dude
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Added: 3/28/2003
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(1291 votes)
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Found At: Middlebury, VT
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No matter how beautiful she is,
someone somewhere is tired of her shit.
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Submitted by: Hahnsolo
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Added: 3/29/2003
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(1207 votes)
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Found At: The Gingerman, Houston, TX
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To the nicest woman I ever met
I could not ask for more.
She's deaf and dumb, and over-sexed,
And owns a liquor store!
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Submitted by: Ghost
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Added: 3/31/2003
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(1190 votes)
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Found At: a public bathroom near a beach
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Don't throw matches in the toilet because the crabs here can pole-vault
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Submitted by: guido sanchez
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Added: 4/5/2003
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(1265 votes)
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Found At: m.u.n.
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Written on bottom of stall door: beware of limbo dancing homosexuals
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Submitted by: guido sanchez
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Added: 4/5/2003
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(1316 votes)
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Found At: st. john's
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Inside these 4 walls of protection,
beware the gay limbo champion,
for he will enter your stall,
from right under the wall!
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Submitted by: CANDIRU2005
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Added: 4/6/2003
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(5204 votes)
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Found At: University of Calgary stall
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anyone can piss on the seat, be a hero and shit on the ceiling.
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Submitted by: bobby
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Added: 4/6/2003
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(4401 votes)
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Found At: backstrech
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some come here to sit and think,
some come here to wonder...
i come here to shit and stink
and fart like fucking thunder
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Submitted by: roz
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Added: 4/6/2003
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(1321 votes)
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Found At: wal mart stall
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Here I sit strainin' and groanin'
Giving birth to an Oklahoman
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Submitted by: Big Tex
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Added: 4/8/2003
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(1194 votes)
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Found At: Cotton Bowl - Dallas, TX
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When i was young I had no sense
I stuck my dick in an electric fence
It pulled my hair and tickled my balls
I even shit my overalls
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Submitted by: urban
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Added: 4/9/2003
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(2413 votes)
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Found At: park bathroom
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on a condom machine.....
"Save your money! This is the worst damn gum I ever chewed in my life.
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Submitted by: oldschoolbob
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Added: 4/14/2003
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(1267 votes)
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Found At: bourbon street, NOLA
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i offered her my honor
she honored my offer
all night long,
i was honor and offer
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Submitted by: cent
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Added: 4/17/2003
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(1976 votes)
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Found At: high school stall
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Jack and Jill went up the hill
And Jack would try to hump her
Jill said "no",
Jack said "so, I'll ram it in your
dumper!"
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Submitted by: Jim
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Added: 4/22/2003
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(1435 votes)
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Found At: Local Gas Station
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Here I sit, broken hearted
came to shit but only farted.
was walking home and shit my pants.
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Submitted by: CDE
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Added: 4/23/2003
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(1926 votes)
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Found At: High school stall
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Their was a young vampire called Mable,
Who's periods were exceedingly unstable,
On the night of the full moon,
With the aid of a spoon,
She could drink herself under the table.
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Submitted by: Pulpculture
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Added: 5/2/2003
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(1227 votes)
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Found At: Bog in Orpington
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Showing 51-75 of 199
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