 Turd Mallet |
|
Noun
|
|
 Definition 1: A crude hammer-like instrument whose origins date back to the early 20th century. The Turd Mallet is comprised of two parts; one being a 10 inch long piece of sawed off fence post (4 x 4), the other being a 3 foot segment of broom handle attached at a 90 degree angle to the center of the first piece. The Turd Mallet was used chiefly by city sanitary crews to pulverize dog feces left in park areas from as early as 1914 to as late as 1962. The flattened dog excrement decayed more rapidly, and was also less unsightly to wandering eyes, leading to the surge in popularity of the Turd Mallet amongst home owners during the fabled 'dog log crisis' in the mid 1950's. Only six Turd Mallets are known to exist today, all of which remain in museums. All other Turd Mallets are believed to have been either burned or dismantled shortly after the intruduction of the more efficient "Shit Sling" in 1964. |
 Usage Example: I was fortunate enough to partake in the most recent addition to come through the Museum Of Fine Farts; the "Turd mallet". What a magnificent piece of history if I do say so myself! |
|
|
Submitted by Jack Soffalot
on 10/4/2005
|
|
3.74 =
(102 votes)
|
|
| 32,999 page views |
Add a comment |
Rate It
|
|
|
|
 |
