Currently 12,351 words
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask Turdwords Volume 4 View all volumes |
|
Our mailbag was overflowing this time around, as it bulged around the seams
I felt like giving it a pity fuck
and unleash its burgeoning load. As always, if you have any questions you'd like us
to answer please send them to: Ask Turdwords
Now on to this week's questions.
|
|
Why wont my words come out like "Plastic sex toy"
|
Evan mass
|
Once again, we've got another genius who sends us words that basically define
a celebrity. Not smart Evan, more like
Dumbiss. Our lawyers have recommended we do not include
words that use celebrity's names. The topic of why my word wasn't validated
has been beaten to death. People are as tired of reading this crap and feel
like they are getting a mental
elastic death grip.
Next!
|
- Eddie
|
|
Why isn't there a web site called turdbasket.com?
|
floppy sack, arkansas
|
Don't know, got an idea for what turdbasket.com would be like? Think you could
get advertising for it? Go for it, or better yet, send me your idea and I'll do it.
Either way turdbasket sounds like a great turdword to me.
Submit it!
|
Perhaps this is a turd basket?
|
- Eddie
|
|
are you gay?
|
Evan MA
|
You've been busy Evan and have a most inquisitive mind...
At turdwords we have a don't ask - don't tell policy. We don't care if you
are a major Anal Conquistador,
Faggot master,
or on a life long quest to find the perfect Cock Chieftain
(even if she is a Slut Mongrel).
We'll even accept your garden variety metrosexual
at the offices.
The big question I want to know, Evan, is why you care or are you trying to get into
my Smokestack?
|
- Eddie
|
|
what is the meaning of laydown area with respect to hazardous area classification
|
sam & nigeria
|
Easy and great question! I love it when I get a great question!
In plain English and for the rest of our undereducated visitors, Sam is referring
to getting laid in a dangerous area: school, office, in public. The more likely
you are to be caught, the more hazardous the area is. So next time you
decide to play Tonsil Hockey
with the local Jizz Wizz,
count the number of people you hear and multiply that number by 2. Count the number
of people you can see, but they cannot see you and multiply that number by 5. Add
those two numbers together and viola, you've got your sex score. If you get caught,
however, you lose all your points.
|
- Eddie
|
|
need a good word for dead person. any ideas?
|
eric in peoria
|
How about stiff, corpse, mung, carcas, body, husk, deceased, skeleton, skin sack...
Why? You thinking
about putting an ad in the paper and looking for someone to do a
New England Corpiscle with or
are you the one who submitted Rusty Carcas (if
so, you need to be incarcerated).
|
- Eddie
|
|
A few of my friends are complete assholes. Im planning to use a few of the ComputerPranks (one of your advertizements) on them, but that just isnt enough. I cant softserve in their bedrooms or upperdeck their toilets, and I most definately cant do something so outrageous as the Hitler. Could you suggest a few more subtle things that I could do on a frequent basis? Maybe you could list some good foods to give them an Air Buffet
|
Joe, Mount Vernon Ohio
|
Definitely use the pranks found on ComputerPranks.Com. They have a ton of great ideas and harmless
pranks you can pull on your friends's computer. Also, don't forget the fine
folks at Prank Place.
Here's some more harmless jokes you can do, courtesy of me:
- Invite your friends over for some food. For desert, give them a
Dusty Sundae. You'll be
laughing to yourself as your friends chomp down your
farticles.
- Try to hit up one of your buds in a chat room. Pose as a chick and
see if you can get him to take a picture of his baby boner.
- Put letters in his locker from a secret admirer. You'll need to write like a
girl on this one. Go from slut pup to
a pop tart over the course
of a month or so. Get him jacked up and say you want to have him and one of his
bud's do an Eiffel Tower with him.
See who he picks. Remember, subtleness is the key to pulling this one off.
(Believe it or not, I pulled this on some chick in high school. I look back
and feel bad about it -- well maybe not so bad... she was a real
Hog-bitch).
- Buy some TurdTwisters
put some fudge or chocolate frosting around the edges and bring them over to your
friend's house. Pretend to "discover" them and accuse your friend of
being a Turd Twister
- You can always check out the fine gags at
Farts.Com. They have all kinds of gimics that'll make your friends blow stinky
air through their Poop Tunnel.
Finally, you may want to see a shrink.... if your friend's treat you as bad as they do
you have to ask yourself why you keep hanging around with them.
|
- Good luck Eddie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|