This simple device attaches to your hand and allows you to count strokes while wacking it
at your favorite
Masturbation Station.
The space-age technology is the latest in fat and muscle building science!
The Turdwords' Jack-O-Meter counts strokes, calories burned and miles rubbed! What
other personal device does all that?
Scientific studies indicate you need over 1,000 pumps a day to build muscle mass.
Counting
that while working your forearms during masturbation would defeat half the purpose.
That's why our engineers designed the Jack-O-Meter to aid you in your
five knuckle shuffle.
Your rendevous with
Mother Thumb and her 4 Daughters
will never be the same!
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Still don't believe us? Check out these satisfied Turdwords' customers who used to be solo
porn doggs!
The Jack-O-Meter saved my life. I was suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome
and my wrist constantly cracked. People accused me of being gay.
I tried every imaginable exercise but they didn't hold my interest. However, the
jack-o-meter kept me honest. Within weeks, I lost 15 pounds of fat and gained
20 pounds of solid muscle.
Thank you Turdwords!
Frank P., Livonia, MI.
I used to surf porn all day. I was into
Passionate Midori from
dawn to dusk. I bought your Jack-O-Meter to contain my porn addiction. Now,
I keep it under 3,000 reps per day and it keeps me honest.
Hidori A. Kyoto, Japan
Dear Turdwords: I lift weights like crazy, but my forearms were constantly
lagging behind. Creatine, Nitric Oxide and Gluatamine didn't help.
My biceps looks like Bluto's, but my forearms looked like Olive Oyle's.
I bought your Jack-O-Meter and put in an amazing 20,000 reps a day. Now I am huge!
Watch out Popeye!
Luke A, Buffalo, NY
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