Follow turdwords on Twitter

Currently 12,351 words
Ask TurdWords
Stall Scrawl
Turdwords Quiz
Word Factory

Ask Turdwords Volume 22 Ask Turdwords Volume 22  View all volumes
It's about time that I wrote everyone. Hope everyone is having a great 2006. We've done a few changes to Turdwords, namely we are finally making some money, thanks to some nice sponsorship. With more money, we'll invest more time and energy into make Turdwords the most up-to-date dictionary on the web.

Just sitting here doing the turdwords questions this fine Saturday morning. I am probably going to go to the doctors this morning. I hate doctors, but you gotta go when you are out jogging and some Jug-Jack thought I'd make a nice Hood Ornament for his car.

So let's get on with the questions... but first off, here's a brief NOT WORK SAFE and adult video from a cool website, FileCabi.Net. Come pray at the Church of Fudge all Turdwords fans!

As usual, if you want to ask us question, simply submit it here: Ask Turdwords!

Anyhow, let's take care of the questions...


do you have any names for a bent weiner? i have a few of my own but i cant find any on here. thanks a bunch milton.
jono, globe
Sounds like you've got a Boomer-Wang if you are just sitting in front of the mirror. However, if you are standing there drunk with a not so hot chick you might have a case of the liquored eel.

I suspect, however, you are a lucky individual and probably get one-helluva a Barstow Bottle Blowjob from someone's mom.

I just sucked my own dick. Does that make me gay because I think I might try to fuck myself next?
The Warden My Dungeon
No, I don't think it makes you gay. If you had given a Pittsburg Snowball to your science teacher, then yeah, I'd say you are pickle smuggler.

None the less you are pretty talented. Have you thought of getting into the Jizz Bizz.

Either way, be sure to brush your teeth when you are done -- I hear it's tough to get those pubes out.

what is it called when a dude is getting fucked in the ass and he jerks off or cum during it?
brown eye lopez monroe,ny
This sounds extremely like the very common rusty trombone or the Blindsided Pickle Tickler , but what you are describing is a bit more involved and is more homosexual-based.

I found several definitions, mostly involving the word Rusty. I suggest you stick with this one: Rusty Rex, as it is close enough.

Hey what is a dirty lincolin? Heard it on the radio and they wouldn't explain what it was? Just wanted to know. Thanks!
Tara, Michigan
I think you are looking for this word: Abraham Lincoln. However, another one that may resemble what they were talking about can be found here: The Stinkin' Lincoln

Send us a picture, Tara, if you decide to try this sometime!

why didnt you accept my word dutch-over shart, which is when you accidently crap yourself and make your female companion smell it by trapping her under the covers of the bed????
brandon, toronto canada
Too much like two other words, Shart and Dutch Oven. It's got to be a little more creative than just combining two words that are extremely common.

what's it called when you're fingering a girl and it smells, so you stick your fingers under her nose so she smells it,. .....i always thought this was a dirty sanchez....but come to find out im wrong......so what is that called....... i think it should be called the tuna fish sniffer?
chad , north little rock
No way dude, a Dirty Sanchez is a lot worse than what you described. Here are some words that are similar to what you want:

Nose Sample
Puss Sniffer
Queef Sniffer
but ultimately, I think you are looking for the word: Tuna Surprise

Hey guys, I really appreciate you putting some of my words on here. The question I have is, How long has turdwords been on the net? I think it's awesome and hope it's around from now on. Thanks alot!
Scott H Va.
Thanks for the vote of confidence. We appreciate it. We've been around since, what, around 2002 and have no plans on stopping the education of America in the profane and twisted. Besides, we are having too much fun.

If I make a clone of myself and proceed to fuck my clone in the asshole, am I considered a faggot or am I just masterbating?
The Warden My Dungeon
Shit, Ward, I'd hate to be in your Dungeon. If you cloned yourself, you'd have] an entirely different entity. Even though he may be a copy of you, he is still anther living being. Hence, if you were fucking him, you'd certainly be a Ham Rider.

Even thinking that you are not, has me greatly worried. You should quit playing so much D&D and get on with life.

My balls are covered in old milk and my pockets are filled with assorted yoghurts and sour-dough biscuits. Can you build me a fire?
Jango, Australia
Sure, perhaps you'd like a little cup of chamomile tea (with a mint leaf, no less), a crochet set, and some premarin pills for your day old bread...

A couple years back, there was a word/phrase on your website that has now escaped us. It was by far the funniest I'd seen on the site and then it disappeared and we haven't been able to find it since. My co-worker said it was probably because the word/phrase was the name of an actual company. The part we can remember is that the finale of this rather involved act, is leaving the imprint of your sac on the chicks' forehead. I've offered free lunch to anyone in our office that can remember the word and would be happy to mail you a sandwich if you can help out.
MeatStick, USA
How cool, a whole entire office talking about Turdwords. We've made it to the corporate world!

It sounds like Mushroom stamp or perhaps Ghostface Killer. Either way, do some searches for mushroom or forehead --- I am sure something will come up.

I recently lost a bet and had to French kiss a llama in the butthole but the real problem is, I feel like I actually won the bet because I loved every second of it. What should I do?
The Warden My Dungeon
Try getting a life instead of submitting dumb ass questions to turdwords. Either that or become a millionaire by going to the Netherlands and filming that sort of shit.

You disgust me!

The poor llama had to deal with your pole polishing lips on his eye of the ass.

What is it called when two guys are standing side by side one of them is jerking himself off and at the same time jerking the other guy off? Thanks
This is very similar to couch skiing. While the original definition doesn't exactly match the one you are looking for, I think it is close enough.

Hi fellows, I recently watched the movie "40 year old virgin". There are bunch of fraises that I could not find in your "Database" or anywhere else. I was wonderin if you can help. They are: Jagged-head dildoes, Cum swapping, Rattlesnake wiggle, Alligator fuck house, Donkey punching, Double decker pussies, rainbow showers, Chemical slide and Hanging brain. I would appreciate any help.
I agree with you... there were some fantastic words that were rattled off. Some of the words that are listed are pretty self explanatory. For instance, cum swapping is known as snowballing. I am not sure what an alligator fuck house is. It is probably something they made up, unless they are referring to Green Gator.

Double decker pussies are when two girls lie on top of each other and you screw each of them in turn. Rainbow showers is probably another term for a Golden Shower or Rainbow Party.

The hanging brain is easy and can be found at: Hangin Brain's.

Perhaps if they make a 50-year-old virgin movie they'll hire us on as consultants.

Time to go to the Doctors man. Got some good ideas for Turdovations, so once I am on the mend, I'll be able to get on those.



About Turdwords.com   Contact Us   Link to Us   Privacy Policy