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Ask Turdwords Volume 18 Ask Turdwords Volume 18  View all volumes
Greetings and hello everyone and welcome to the end of winter. We've been pretty busy with Turdwords and am happy to announce that I recently sold some of my other websites, so I should have a little extra time to devout to entertaining everyone here.

The good old turdwords mail bag is overflowing today and I figured I'd better get to it.

If you feel like sending us a question, click here: Ask Turdwords.


How come everything I eat turns to shit?
OralRobert, NY
Gee Robert, you have that problem too? I don't know why that last Hooters Meal I had turned into butt chocolate either. So let's just keep it a secret between you and me, alright?

what is a ass be lonker???????????
laura idaho falls
I think you've got that word mixed up with ass spelunker. Hopefully that'll clarify things.

what does arabian goggles mean?
laura idaho falls
Check out the definition of arabian goggles. If you need help breathing, getting out of bed, or surfing the web, just let us know...

What's the deal with the ads on the words? Are you that pressed for cash that you had to sell out? I hate this website now. I don't want a link to watch some nasty tranny getting it on with a pig. I did make a visit to one of the tranny sites and was pleased to see ColinC was doing some good with his life.
Why are you guys doing sex advertisements before the word definitions? Not to be critical, but it makes the true meaning of this website trashy. I know that you guys are the best in presenting kick ass words, but the advertisement thing before the word definition itself cheapens things. I think that this strategy loses value. Now, if you are making money by doing this, then that's sweet. Otherwise the ad thing takes away attention to the word. Let me know if I sound like I am on crack, and I will explain a little deeper on why this is trashy.
MIke from Chicago
Yes, we did make the decision to run the ads. Let's face it, as a small adult-oriented website, it is very hard to find sponsors without resorting to hard core images (which would break our ISP's policies). After months and months of searching for someone who would support the costs associated with running this website, we decided to run the ads.

We work hard on the site and deserve a bit more than the chump change we were making before.

Once again Mike, hello!

How can I persuade a girl that an Angry Pirate is actually an expression of my love for her and she should feel privileged that I want to give her one.
Steve C.
Ah, the good old Angry Pirate, only a few lucky individuals have had the opportunity to do this. The Angry Pirate was pretty much designed for breaking up sex... you don't do it the chick you supposedly love. I mean, shit, after you do it, you are going to hear about her bruised shins for the next week or two... instead, go for the Mushroom Stamp, it's effects are just as degrading, but far less painful.

Isnt felch a dried yellow cum stain?
Rich O Alias Dickie O.
Nope, you can find the definition of felch here.

What is or defines being a "spooge monkey"?
Brian from ny
Spooge, commonly refers to semen. Why I don't have an official definition for spooge monkey, I'd probably say it means someone who likes Junk Juice.

What does S.O.D stand for in England?
Ronda, Kentucky
The only S.O.D. I know of is the heavy metal band, Stormtroopers of Death. Hopefully that's what you were referring to.

Whats your guys favourtie turd word?
Dirk ... Hamilton
Glad you asked Dirk. We have so many favorites, among them:

Do you accept photos?
jizz pappy
Yes, our system is designed to add photos to words. However, NO nude pictures. You can send us a picture of Cookies and Cream, but not Milwaukee Roller. Just e-mail them to us. I promise you we won't spam you back. Also, the picture must NOT be copyrighted or used on another site.

Hello Turdwords Crew, I have a dilema: I can lick my own asshole, but i can't suck my own cock. With a lot vigorous rocking back and forth I can manage a little lick or two, but I simply can't get it into my mouth. Do you have this problem too? Also, is there a word for licking one's own asshole? Thank you for your help, Spoogebob
All right Gumby you are the first person I've heard that is actually assbidextrous, which either means you are full of shit or have the spine of panty waste. Send us a picture we want to see this for ourselves.

Is there a term for licking your load off a chicks tits, if so what the hell is it called??
SID from Pittsburgh
We usually think a good shower is in order after a tit wash. But if you want to lick those Candied Yams, you'll be enjoying a Home Made Cherry Sundae.

Have you ever been whacking off to a good porn then just as your about to climax they take a good long shot at the dude? Is there a word for that
BlogStar, Nebraska
Damn straight BlogStar. There's nothing worse than sitting at your masturbation station watching bone movies and seeing a the dude. When this happens, it is called the Unhappy Ending.

You know that feeling you get when a guy cums in your ass? What's that called?
Sorry bob, I don't. Why don't you tell me about it.

well i have a question. what is the term called for when you want your boyfriend to fuck you doggy style, than fuck you in the ass. and than right before he's about to cum he put's his dick in your mouth?
anna, california
Yes, Anna, it's pretty simple. It's called: ATM. Seems to be all the rage these days but it sort of sounds not very hygenic. Use at your own risk.

What is a German Knuckle Cake and a Tito Puente? I've tried Googling them and come up with nothing
Michelle, UK
I've never heard of the tito puente... I'd be willing to bet that a German Knuckle Cake is another term for fisting. But I don't know for sure. Could also be getting punched, ala, Donkey Punch. Definitely submit the word if you know for sure.

This takes care of a lot of the questions. There are a few more, but I'll get to them next time. We've got some new Turdovations coming soon, so hang in there.


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