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Ask Turdwords Volume 16 Ask Turdwords Volume 16  View all volumes
Greetings! I figured it would be time to do another series of fun and games with you all. The inbox is virtually busting with questions that I'd love to get to. As usual, I've been busy with birthdays and holidays and crap like that.

Turdwords has been busy and it takes a lot of time to go through the words that are submitted each day. Try to be patient, as when I am taking care of things on the web I occasionally review a dozen or so words at a time. So it may take a little while before your word goes live.

If you feel like sending us a question, click here: Ask Turdwords.


Hey, the random number generator STILL needs a lotta tweaking. "Fresh Prince" wins almost every time. Care to write my English midterm?
noni mous in pay stall #3
Hey there noni. I finally got off of my lazy ass, remembered how to program in Cold Fusion and fixed the quiz. I had done a really lousy job the first time. I think you'll be impressed with the randomness now. So at least I am not as lazy as a dude with a case of the Midnight Munchies, but I am just glad I won't receive any more mail on this subject.

Once again sorry for the delay.

Do I want to do your term paper? Yeah, what are you offering and what is the paper about?

Why is a blow job called a blow job when you are sucking?
blow job
I am not sure of the origin or etymology of blow job. Whenever I see this question asked, I remember the time my buddy told about a friend who was going to have his chick Play his skin flute. I guess this chick had never done it before and when he whipped it out, she proceeded to blow on it. I guess she had never seen or porno or something.

At any rate, I think it is slang. Perhaps in the 50's chicks blew on guy's dicks to get them off and then in the adventurous 60's, chick's got more aggressive. Let's face it though, we don't want it to go in this direction, Tooth chubber. Besides, 'Blow Job' sounds cooler than a Lick Job or a Suck Job. Plus it abbreviates nicely, as in, "Hey honey, give me a BJ". LJ and SJ just doesn't work. So thank your mom or grandmother for breaking grounds in the 60's...

What does grinding the corn mean? I recvently saw an episode of Six Feet Under and the characters on that show mentioned it as being a sex technique, but i didnt understand their explanation.
Jenny, San Diego
I did some searches for 'grinding the corn' on google and didn't find anything except references to the episode you pointed out. Unfortunately, I didn't see anything that indicated it was a sex act. At first, I figured it might be button holing, but I could be completely off base. Perhaps one of our constant visitors will help out me and poor Jenny...

dont u ppl av nuffin kbetter to do, i bet ur all geeks that get turned on my ur m8 tell u bout his bump
poo land
Yet another reason why using a computer on the Internet should require a license.

I notice that the dubbed voices for the hosts of MXC (Most Extreme Elimination Challenge) often use a lot of obscure/exclusive Turdwords. I don't suppose the Turdword staff has any connection to those who play the voices of "Kenny Blankenship" or "Vic Romano" do you? Maybe they just visit this site a lot?
Sean D - Calgary, Canada
A google search basically told me a little about the show. It sounded interesting. Unfortunately, basically anybody can take words off this site and use them on their shows, radio programs or their essays. It would be cool to get some credit or even a link on people's sites.

Either way, we currently have no affiliation with anyone. It would be obscenely cool if we did though...

i submitted a couple of words over a week ago, my first word was published within a matter of days, i was just wondering you how long it took to get the words on thanks
luigi from ibangjomoma
Sometimes I do a dozen or so a day (we usually get around 30 - 50 words a day). Other days I'll do a hundred. I've seen words up to two weeks old in the hopper. My time is somewhat limited and I do the best I can. Sorry if it took a while.

I eat shit. I like the taste. Do you sell shit i can eat? If so, do you deliver?
sick dude
Security, it looks like we've got another wacked out fan from the adult site of www.ShitEaters.Com (warning adult site).

Is it possible to have alot of sex without ever popping your cherry
Messlia J
I suppose. You could have anal (excluding the Ass Hyman) or be or a major oral toker and still be classified a virgin. Technically, once someone performs the trampoline triumph on you, you are no longer a virgin.

Yesterday some guy at school said he was gonna give me a mowgli. What does this mean????
Sheena , UK
Shit Sheena, I think this guy is VERY confused or you are VERY ugly. Our definition of a mowgli can be found here. If I were you, I'd buy a baseball bat and learn how to use it, quick!

Dear Joe, You're sights awsome! I just started going to it about a month ago. My vocabulary has improved a lot if you know what I mean!
Jeff Denver, Colorado
Name's not Joe -- it's Eddie, but that's cool. We are glad to brighten up your life... maybe one day when I visit Denver we'll hang out and get a chick to do an eiffel tower for us. (I love that word!).

I've always thought a "hummer" was when you humm while getting head... but on the sight it said it was just plain getting head.
jeff denver colorado
Yes, I think originally that is what a hummer was, but like blow job, hummer has transformed into just a plain jane oral sex. I have updated the word to include your definition so that its origin is not lost.

Thanks Jeff.

Dude what the fuck is up with chicks wearing those pants with the pads that make their ass look bigger? That's flase advertising god dammit.
jorge c titi, ecuador
I haven't seen this one yet, Jorge. I am not much of an ass indulger, but I am a leg man and those can't be disguised (ladies send me a photo!). Must be an Ecuadorian thing.

what would it be called if you pooped yourself at school? And yes it did happen it me 9/15/04 junior in high school. And should that make you a Hero or a Zero?
David From Ohio
David I am going to be straight with you... you are Zero the Hero. Here's why:

You've got balls. To crap in your pants, as an teenager means you don't care what other people think. You are an individual. This is more than a simple case of Trouser Chilli, this is the real deal. You've got cast iron nards. You are MY turdwords Hero.

You are a Zero, because ultimately, you shit in your pants, and now you freaking stink. Good luck finding someone to go to the prom with you besides Rosy Palm and her five Sisters.

If a girl is sucking my johnson and accidently swallows my load, and if she pukes it up and it somehow got in her cooch, could she still get pregnant?
In short yes. Otherwise, how would you explain how the fucktoid who wrote us wanting to know if we sold shit to eat was born?


I have 3 phrases that I dont know what they mean and cant find them anywhere. They are were questions in a naughty game called who is the biggest pervert. Tahitian Facemask, Felched, and Snowballing whatever they are they would probally fit nicely in your dictionary.
Elizabeth from Oregon
I haven't heard that game before, but it sounds interesting. Hell, we've got our own game here, the Turdwords quiz that you get the whole family together to play (wouldn't that be fun!).

Seriously, here are the definitions of the words you wanted:

Now send me a photo of your legs!

WHat do you call it when someone craps on a glass table and someone is under it????
Glass Bottom Boat and Stained Glass Window, The both seem to cover the act.

I'm having trouble finding the CORRECT definition of Dead-Ass, my perception was that it meant someone with no redeeming qualities, that guy with the large salary who doesn't DO a damn thing to earn it. thanks,
wes from MI
That could be. I didn't find "dead ass" in our dictionary, so it could mean what you say it does, or it could be someone who has been screwed up the ass so many times they've lost feeling in it.

For the floater at work, I like to call them stall campers.

What do you call it when you gag a girl who's blowing you and you cum at the same time she throws up?
T.K. from Houston
Whats it called when you jackhammer a cock down a chicks throat so hard that it makes her puke?
Donovan from the dumpster at SeaTac
Sounds like the Bittersweet Symphony to me.

Time to call it quits. I've put a serious dent into the Turdwords mailbag for this week. Have a great holiday season and check in often.


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