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Ask Turdwords Volume 12 Ask Turdwords Volume 12  View all volumes
Hi there again. It's been a fun summer and I apologize again for letting the questions get into a backlog state (sort of like my septic tank right now).

We've added some cool changes to the site, including being able to search for people's submission. That's because you all asked for it... so I broke down and did some work. Pretty cool, huh? Who cares about you?

Me.

So on with this edition of Ask Turdwords, there's a bunch to do here and there is no time like the present.

-Eddie


Is the term shower cap another slang for a condom?
jane.b*
Wow, a girl writes to me wanting me to answer a question! Can this job get any better?

Yes, I'd say a "shower cap" could be considered slang for a condom, but I suppose so can Cock Sock or even the ultra-popular Jimmy Hat.

Just make sure you clean up "shower cap" after a shower, no one needs to find your Spanky Hanky.


What are the turds called that keep popping up after you flush?
Sarah, NY
Two girls writing to me. Shit, you just fixed my blue buster. Thanks!

Much like disco, these turds just don't go away. If you don't have any friends, they are called Floating Friends but I think Hey Joe summed it up best by calling them Brown Bouys.

Now, I have to clean up the mess, luckily, I have a chronic case of a Web Cold.

Thanks


I DON'T HAVE A QUESTION...I JUST WANTED TO SAY HOW FUCKING WONDERFUL YOUR WEBSITE IS. ALL DAY AT WORK, I LAUGH MY FUCKIN' ASS OFF AT SOME OF THE IDIOTIC SHIT, BUT IT'S FANTASTIC. KEEP ON DOIN' WHAT YOUR DOIN'!!!!!!!!!!
CORI FROM BALTIMORE
Is Cori a chick? I don't know but I don't want to take any chances, could be a Transvestight.

But thanks anyways... There are quite a few folks that love flipping through our dictionary.


Is there anyway I can get paid for my submissions?
C Mac, Vancity
Sure, just Rub one out and take it to the Sperm Bank.

Seriously, if you want to get paid, find us an advertiser that'll pay us some money to do ads. We'll throw you a few bones. We used to do the pop-ups, but they figured out what kind of site we were running and dropped us like a hot potato. Unfortunately, that means the $100 - $150 check we were receiving every month turned into nothing.

So I am getting exactly what you are getting for you submission: nothing -- sort of like an air gun.


Yo, i submitted a word called balloon popping and it wasnt added to the site, and you add a lot worse words that that ! So whats the deal can i get it on the site or what !!
James. From New Jersey
Check all the previous ask turdwords, you'll find your answer there, either that or your the 6th guy dope at a Sperm Bank Buffet.

why do girls queef? how do u stop queefing?
sabrina, MI
Another chick! Holy cripes, I didn't realize we had such a draw from girlies.

A queef is simply the accumulation of air in a woman's pantie hamster. Think about it this way, if someone attached an air pump to your asshole and forced air in there. What do you think would happen with all the air? You are certainly going to cut one helluva fart. It's got to come out somewhere. So a queef is very similar to that scenario.

I hope you think of that mental picture next time it happens to you! You can laugh about it and say, "That Eddie fellow at Turdwords.Com is one cool dude..."


What is Formunda Cheese? I would imagine it's smeg. It's not listed in the dictionary but I see it all the time when I'm submitting a new word. Also the Rear Admiral is no longer in the dictionary. What's up with that?
C Mac, Vancity
Formunda Cheese or (FromUndaCheese) can be found here.

I found Anal Admiral and Rear Gunner, but no Rear Admiral. I could've sworn we had it. Add it!

Now go away, I want to write to more women visitors.


heard the term 'Harvest Moon' on Howard Stern the other day. Gary said that she should've taken a shower before the sex on video tape. Any ideas what it is? My guess is a 'browning' of the ass crack--hence the shower reference tanx
fan-Cleve
i heard on the howard stern show they were saying this broad had a "harvest moon" what is that? thanks
james, cleveland
what is a harvest moon?
[email protected]****.com
I don't regularly listen to Howard, but occasionally check out his show. I would agree that Harvest Moon means a dirty ass, something only a Turd Harvester would enjoy. The harvest portion probably means the "production of" and moon definitely refers to ass.

So I'd have to agree with Fan-Cleve, it's a dirty asshole.


Sorry about the "duck butter" thing, but my definition was better than the one in there, at least I think. But fuck it anyway, you guys let some good stuff in. I get a good laugh when I need it. Later.
Big Mike From Chicago
That's cool Mike... Just submit it again for the helluva. Go White Sox or Cubs, which ever you want, I am a fan of both teams.

Two of my recent entries were rejected. "The Family Reunion" and "The Senior Bi-athalon". I was wondering if it had something to do with violence against senior citizens. Or do you guys just have some problem with incest? Where are your family values?
C Mac, Vancity
Pretty much. Generally we want words that are funny, but I vaguely remember those words crossed the line a bit for me. 95% of the violent words that involve raping dead, elderly or children are deleted.

If you don't like that, take our apologies and start a site dedicated to that sort of crap. My parents read this site too.


you should include a search feature by submitter since i forgot all the words ive submitted. and i cant believe you guys didnt like the michaelangelo da vinci submission!
Medstud79
Request taken, request accepted. We took care of it....
That's about it for this week. I'll try to write some more. Thanks for visiting and keeping me on my toes.

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