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Ask Turdwords Volume 11 Ask Turdwords Volume 11  View all volumes
Hi there, punks. Just got back from vacation to the wonderful, Wisconsin Dells. It was a blast and we had tons of fun. I didn't do anything turdword-ish up there and just more or less relaxed from all my creative endeavors.

Either way, I am itching to answer some of your questions and we've got a load of them.

Also, it appears there are some angry people out there. Crap... I didn't realize all of you got so defensive about our word selection...

On with this edition of Ask Turdwords.


How do you chose the word of the day? Can you try and pick some that don't suck ass?
Brett
Howdy Brett. Basically the word of the day is pulled from the database in the order they were added. Right now, if you add a word to the dictionary, it'll take like 10 years before it becomes the word of the day. All the words appearing now were pretty much submitted a year or year and a half ago.

So much for the theory it was decided by the winner (or loser) of a Circle Jerk.


What do you call it when you are getting a blowjob from a naked chick who is on all fours, and your Golden Retriever comes up behind her and gives her a credit card with his tongue and snout? How about the "Eight Legged Threesome?"
Marko L, Germany
Sounds good to me. But if you happened in Paris, I'd say it closely resembles an Eiffel Tower or a variation of Pig Roast.

Either way, congrats on your hummer.


how often do you add newly submitted words to the wedsite?
suk mi beg dong
My wedding site? Lots of times -- usually after I am done doing a Texas Wedding Cake

Actually, words are added to turdwords about once or twice a week. Pretty much whenever I get to it. There's no set schedule.

SO BE PATIENT


Secret Admirer: Why have you attacked my sweet honey buns who is a masterful writer and contributes words to Turdwords.com from time to time. The C MAC will be mine one day. I will lick his bung and write back and tell all. Please post all of C MAC's words...do you believe this is possible????, please respond, i just had right finger amputated because i went up my ass too far with it...OK.. This would mean the world to me...maybe send me a fish fork so i can pick my finger out of my tight ass too. THANKS, I love your guys website.
Flat Tit Yoko
I haven't attacked Master C's writing. It sort of sounds like to me that you've had one too many Crazy Carls.

It would be great if you could search entries by who submitted them. Then it would be easier for me to bask in my own glory......I can't even remember all the shit I've contributed! Much love (in a manly sort of way.) Cheers mate!
C Mac, Vancity
Good idea. I might do something like this...

I love you too man, but not in a Crazy Cadet sort of way.


So my buddy Josh is getting a hummer from this big girl while I'm in the next room. This chick has a voice that would make Edith Bunker cringe. Anywho, in between slurpings and suckings she keeps asking him if she "can flip a quarter?" We can't figure out what that means; one idea is that she wanted to toss his salad (she's giving "head" and she wanted to work the "tails" (i.e. the brownstar). Any other ideas? Thanks.
Baby Mac, CO
That's a nasty thought -- getting a hummer from the queen of all Bargoyles.

As far as the heads or tail, I'd agree with your assumptions. Now if this chick looked like Edith, perhaps she liked the old switcheroo... Perhaps she wanted him to take a few strokes in her and do an ATM.

Or perhaps she wanted a deep cleansing pore treatment or a Blow Back.

Your best bet: ask the dude and let me know if it has any slang connotations to it.


I,VE GOTTEN MY HAND STUCK UP MY ARSE AND HAVE HAD GREAT DIFFICULTLY GETTING IT OUT .WHAT DO U SUGGEST
shane NEWRY HIGH SCHOOL
Sounds like another case of cranialrectosis.

Where in the fuck are the words I sent you fucking, dickwipes? You mean to tell me none of them was fucking good? You know what was good? Your momma's fucking asshole!
Fecal Matter
I think it is amusing. You complain that your words are rejected, you get pissed, send us a nasty "e-mail", and then call my mom a "fucking asshole" and worse, me a dickwipe.

Dude, this is why your word was rejected... you don't have anything original. You could've called me Fucktoid or even a Bastroid.

Come on, worse you insult my mom with that dribble. Search the dictionary and use a word like, "I am going to come over there and give your mom a Phoenix Dust Storm" or "I was fucking your mom and she gave me a Chunky Monkey.

Next time, do better you Trobbit.


why does sex feel good I mean when that dick goes in the pussy it is such a hot feeling
Aminsa Florida
Sounds like we've found the picture perfect defintion of a Virge.

know that some of the words that I submit can be stupid, however it amazes me how another "blumpkin" word was added, and my "duck butter" definition was declined. It may have been stupid, but it was a hell of alot more creative than some of the other dumb ass words accepted as new terms. Can you explain the acceptance process other than what is described in the word submission directory?
Big Mike from Chicago
I've gone through this routine about half a dozen times before. Your definition of duck butter, was eventually accepted, which can be found at: Duck Butter.

Now, if I click "validate" on the word and it is already in the database, I have to go through an extra step to fix it up. If I have a ton of words, I get really lazy and more than likely, if it wasn't that funny, I delete it.

If you still want us to look at it, send it again, ONCE, and I'll see what I can do.

While you are in Chicago, check out these "el" rides: Fullerton Transfer, Manhattan Transfer, monroe transfer.


There are still plenty more words, but it is Miller time here, so to speak. Until next time.

-Eddie


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