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Ask Turdwords Volume 6 Ask Turdwords Volume 6  View all volumes
Well, here I am at 6:30, taking care of the ask turdwords, listening to 80's pop music, and fighting a nosy black cat who wants to play with the keyboard. Most importantly, I am missing my Wheel of Fortune thanks to you fools! Vanna helped me learn to spell... talk about missing my dose of Eye Candy.

Either way, this is our 6th installment of questions. Thanks to all who wrote in and if you want to get in on the action, feel free to drop me a line at: Ask Turdwords. Of course, to see past editions of the Ask Turdwords, check out the list at Fun Stuff

On with the fun and games, chumps.

What does Araibian Sand Goggles
Jen Michigan
I thought everyone knew about Arabian Goggles. Guess there's something else a little dense about Michigan after all (actually, I really dig your state).

Actually, Arabian Sand Goggles are similar to the Norman Helmet and the ever popular Roman war Helmet. These sexual acts are when one places their testes over the recipient's eyesockets and places their penis down the recipient's nose. This creates the effect of helmet or goggles -- as some of the old movies depict.

To check out a roman war helmet / arabian goggle in action, be sure to check out this link (warning -- pretty intense -- didn't say I didn't warn you). The guy's pud is pretty small, so it doesn't work all that well, but you'll get the idea.

Demo of a Roman War Helmet

HELP!!!!! How do I view the complete list of user comments on a particular word? I only seem to be able to get two comments at the most. Thanks for responding.
Zaine from Cleveland
Zaine -- not all words have more than 2 comments. Check out some of the bigger words, like Felch. The comments all show up just fine.

Can you guys make a page filled with a TON of Turnwords, so I dont have to SLOWLY check every page? That would be SO GREAT! Just put the word, definition, and example! COOL!
Steven USA
Hey Steve... that's been on my plate for a while. One of my goals is to take the turdwords dictionary and categorize it. Some words for farts, sexual acts, terms for poop etc. Problem is, the dictionary is 4000 words long. I've got better things to do with my weekends... Besides, I've got reruns of Wheel of Fortune to watch (I am also a closet Price is Right fan).

Either way, if you'd be interested in helping to categorize the site, send me an e-mail with your qualifications. It'll get me motivated to set the database up and with some help, it won't take very long at all. Then you'll be able to hit the site and look for groups of words that describe feces or my new favorite: Alberta Steak.

can your cherry grow back
You bet. Last I checked, cherries usually bloom and grow back by summer. So if you "picked" your cherry a little too soon last summer, you'll have another chance this summer. Just to be sure we'll have to ask Jen (see above) from Michigan (Michigan is noted for their cherries). Perhaps she's lost one and had it grow back (maybe even twice). Jen, any help here?

will i ever get laid again? it's been 8month and i'm a cute chick!!!!
pot head kent ohio
I've heard funny things about chicks from Ohio. They say they are all hot but they tend to be Butterfaces. Sure, I know, I know, your mom says you are beautiful but let's face it, the herpe sore on your lower lip isn't working anymore. Even a starving homeless man isn't going to do the Nasty Natalie with you and you'd be lucky to avoid a halifax harbour huck or a queef huffer.

My suggestion, hit the gym (avoid the Hot Gym Brownies), treat your lower regions like a Zen Garden and quit toking on the bong. Then you'll get some action and find a guy worth making miserable.

How come the Stinkin' Lincoln get's added but my suggestion of a Memphis Hood Ornament doesn't?
Ron - Cleveland
Ron -- easy there fella. I am not on the turdwords admin pages hitting refresh every minute to see if a new word comes in. Sometimes, words sit in the repository for up to 3 days before I sift through them (gotta catch up with my Vanna and Wheel shows). Just be patient and go back to whatever you do in Cleveland until I get to it.

Good news Ron, though, I added your Yukon Hood Ornament and Memphis Hood Ornament. Personally, they freaking rocked, but I think they would've been better as a Detroit Hood Ornament (unless you crap on a Saturn, which are made in Spring Hill, TN to qualify it as a Memphis Hood Ornament). What would happen if you crapped on an imported car? I digress....

If you've got a picture of a Memphis Hood Ornament, Ron, send it our way. I am sure our visitors would appreciate seeing that.


Anyhow chumps, I've still got three more questions I want to answer (next time) and I am out of time for tonight. I missed my Vanna, Pat and friends thanks to you (and I don't even get paid for this). At least Average Joe is on.

Check in again soon...

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