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Do you have a personal problem or question that is plaguing you? Send it to Turdwords and we'll get one of our experts to answer it for you! If you missed our first installment, be sure to see Ask Turdwords Volume 1

Now on to the fun and games.

If you are walking in the cold, and fart, can you see fart steam??
Poopy Pants
Hey there Poopy Pants... let me guess, you were walking to the bus stop and you thought you could get away with an Air Tulip and pulled it off except you got a little Bonus Juice. You are probably wondering if the hot number standing behind you saw a cloud emit from your Brown Starfish.

The short answer is no.

Farts consist of methane and butt mites (click to learn more about butt mites) as well as other gas by-products.

The steam that you see emitted when you talk is from water condensation. There is no water in farts unless you did an aerosol dookie. Chances are, if you crapped in your pants -- then yeah, there might be a little cloud, but we doubt it -- ever where a scarf? How much steam escapes from that? Not much and we guess that unless you were running outside while free-balling it, nobody else saw your steam.

To prove my point and as a student of assology, I went outside in the frigid air and tested my logic -- just for you.

Check out the pictures and see for yourself:

25F out tonight! Test subject breaths Farts -- no steam!
It's 25F out tonight -- all systems go! Our test subject breaths air -- steam is emitted Test Subject farts after eating chili -- no steam emitted - just stink
- Eddie

What happened to TurdWords Dan?
Max from Biloxi
December 1, 2003 was a day that will be written about in the annals (note, I didn't say anal, as in Anal Tunneler) of history at TurdWords.Com.

RJ and Eddie bought Dan out of his shares of his TurdWords stock (I bet you didn't know we are listed on the stock exchange!). That also was the day that Dan got tanked, picked up a butterface, and spent his money on bone movies.

We wish Danny the best, and his legend will live on at TurdWords, only his paycheck will go to me and RJ.

Dan took the money and ran
- Eddie

I submitted about 5 words two weeks ago. None were registered. The words were atleast as good as others that have been entered. They followed all the rules. What's the criteria for getting a word on here?
Ralph M.
Hey Ralph, I don't remember which words you sent us, we get dozens every day. We get complaints everyday that the words we pick suck baby gravey. So of late we've been a bit more selective. Chances are the words you sent us fell into one of these categories:

1) Too violent. We aren't into violent sex acts, boning dead people, or things that talk about illegal activities. Sure, we've let a few slip by, after the 50th time of seeing Donkey Punch, we figure we'll let it go on by 90% of them make their final resting place in bit heaven.

2) Not funny. We get dumbass words all the time. If it isn't creative, looks like you pulled it out of your ass cavity, forget it.

3) Makes fun of specific person or copyrighted characters. We don't want to get sued and neither do you.

4) Word is already listed in our dictionary. Nuff said here.

5) Word is too similar to others. We've got a ton of words like Taints, Grundels, carpet cleaners, jelly donut, angry dragons that have similar meanings to each other and we get variations all the time. After the 5th time of seeing some variation, we don't need to know any more.

6) Word entered has chat room spelling. Look, I'm a busy person, I've got blumpkins to receive, Halifax Harbour Huck dot com photos to take and a harem of MILFs to do cock pushups with. So, if u dn't tk the time 2 right corectly, it wont get sved.

7) No racists words.

8) Word must be a toilet / sex word... generally, if you can find your word in a regular dictionary, you won't find it on Turdwords. We prefer words about turds and some of the sex ones weren't what we had in mind when we created Turdwords. If your mom would wash your mouth out with soap for using a TurdWord, we want to hear it.

In short, I validate about 50% of the words I see (sometimes more, sometimes less, depends if I am feeling Itchy. Try again if you want, it can't hurt, but with over 3700 words, we are trying to be as selective as possible.

Thanks for submitting, without your support the dictionary would be a far cry from what it is today.

- Eddie

Special attention to Carly and Glen -- we are working on your question.
- Eddie
Don't forget to send us any of your questions, it's anonymous, fast, and best of all free (unlike your shrink).

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