Turdwords(TW): Man's it's cold up here.
Reggy (R):Yup, it is. God made it that way -- this is God's country up here. I think
God made Minnesota so cold so we could make awesome Minnesota popsicles
and Minneapolis Meat Whistles.
TW:So tell me Reggy, how did you get into the business of harvesting Minnesota Popsicles?
R:It's been a family tradition for years, despite it being illegal (he pulls out a pack
of Red Man and eats a plug. He looks over his snowcovered plantation and smiles to himself).
TW:Reggy, explain the process of how you harvest Minnesota Popsicles.
R:Well it's pretty simple actually (he says while spitting a stream
of brown tobacco juice from his Buzz Gum).
During the spring, summer and fall months we have all kinds
of animals on the land doing what they do best. They leave their deposits on the
ground and it's our job to harvest them up.
R:You but check this out... (Reggy bends over and kicks a little snow off the a mound of now.)
Reggy finds a turd!
Grabbing a shovel, Reggy digs up the harvest.
Reggy Harvest a Minnesota Popsicle!
TW: Impressive. What happens after you harvest them?
Reggy bags his bounty!
R:Shit if I know. I just bag them up and some truck comes up here on
Wednesdays and Saturdays and takes the harvest away. Last I heard they go down
to Gary, Indiana for processing. Then they
are shipped all over the country for people to use.
I hear they are a rage in California. Either way,
they pay the bills around here.
TW:Reggy -- it was a pleasure meeting you, we like to touch base with
all of our fans. Anything you want to say?
R:Yeah, buy a Minnesota Popsicle -- my wifey needs a new set of teeth!