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Stall Scrawls - Bathroom Wall Quotes

One of the last untapped (and overlooked) sources of poetry is the stuff found on the stalls of the local bathroom. Sure, we've seen the usual crap, like "Call Betsy for a good time" or "My penis is huge" but occasionally while dropping the kids off at the pool we've seen genius at work. Perhaps even you have taken the time to write something creative, share it with us. Either way, read our user submitted collection of bathroom wall quotes from around the world.

At TurdWords.Com, we've given you the opportunity to gain wisdom from the scrawlings of other scatalogically inclined people, such as yourself. Check out what your fellow visitors have recorded below or feel free to submit one of your own.

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Oh I wish I were a diamond
Upon my Lula's hand
Then every time she wiped her ass
I'd see the promised land.

Submitted by: Mungo Jerry

Added: 3/22/2003

(2832 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Sid's Tamale House

"F" is for fart that stirs up a breeze,
And smells even worse then Limberger cheese.

Submitted by: Mary S.

Added: 10/29/2004

(2748 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Utopia

Here I sit, I'm at a loss
trying to shit out taco sauce.
When it comes, I hope and pray,
I don't blow my ass away

Submitted by: RJ

Added: 11/13/2004

(2666 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Taco Bell

Please don't throw matches in the toilet,
the crabs can pole-vault!!

Submitted by: Uterus Orungus

Added: 11/12/2004

(2530 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Public Restroom at a gas station in Georgia

My name is Pancho
I live on a rancho
I make five peso a day

Your seester, Aluci
she gave me some pussy
and took my five peso away!

Submitted by: B Brewer

Added: 11/22/2004

(2823 votes)

Vote:

Found At: shithouse wall

I once knew a guy from Bel Air

Who was doing his gal on the stair

the bannister broke

so he doubled his stroke

and finished her off in mid-air

Submitted by: Bob Pigment

Added: 10/29/2003

(3226 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Melody's

Here I sit in perfect bliss,
listenin to the sound of piss,
now and then a fart is heard,
mingled with a DROPPING TURD!!!

Submitted by: Sharkie

Added: 9/4/2003

(2947 votes)

Vote:

Found At: grandma told me when i was young

Please dont throw your cigarette butts in the toliet, it makes them wet and soggy and hard to light.

Submitted by: Darin F

Added: 6/20/2003

(2788 votes)

Vote:

Found At: bathroom wall at bar

here i sit broken hearted
paid a dime and only farted
next time, i'll take a chance save a dime and shit my pants

Submitted by: darin

Added: 2/6/2003

(3402 votes)

Found At: toliet in store with paid stalls

Big or small,
Thick or thin,
Vaseline will get it in,
In the night there came a scream:
"Who put the sand in the vaseline???"

Submitted by: Genny

Added: 9/19/2003

(3087 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Pickering High School

anyone can piss on the seat, be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

Submitted by: bobby

Added: 4/6/2003

(3061 votes)

Vote:

Found At: backstrech

Why fart and waste it,
When you can burp and taste it?

Submitted by: kimbykat

Added: 10/29/2004

(2969 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Uranus

Find who you've been looking for

(Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine)
"Don't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

Submitted by: RJ

Added: 11/13/2004

(2916 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Alumni Club - Chicago

Flush twice....it's a long way to the cafeteria.

Submitted by: HeyJoe

Added: 2/3/2003

(3505 votes)

Vote:

Found At: University of Wisconsin men's room.

Hickory dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock,
The mouse ran down,
It's ass was brown,
And so was the Cuckoo's Cock!

Submitted by: DMBFCK

Added: 5/8/2003

(3249 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Work

There once was a girl named Dot
Who liked to eat pig shit and snot
When she couldn't get these things
She ate the green cheese
That she scraped from the walls of her twat

Submitted by: Mr Stain

Added: 11/3/2004

(1246 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Somewhere in Seattle

2 pornos- $40
tube of ky jelly- $5
roll of toilet paper- 99 cent
Knowing you didn't get anyone pregnant, PRICELESS
for some things sex can't solve there's masturbation!!!!!

Submitted by: jeremy

Added: 10/5/2004

(1228 votes)

Vote:

Found At: made up

Standing in eternal bliss...
Listening to the rippling piss...
Now and then a splash is heard...
Of some far off falling turd...

Submitted by: Beard

Added: 3/11/2003

(2950 votes)

Vote:

Found At: College dorm shitter

When all the shithouse poets die
They'll find erected in the sky
In honor of their sterling wit
A monument of solid shit

Submitted by: Harry Burman

Added: 12/31/2004

(1123 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Baltimore GLAAD men's room

Heres to the stork who brings the good babies....
heres to the crow that brings the bad babies....
and heres to the swallow that brings no babies at all.

Submitted by: Justin

Added: 3/10/2004

(3259 votes)

Vote:

Found At: Bar Toast, Pub 13

Flush twice - it's a long way to the Bursar's office.

Submitted by: jim

Added: 5/28/2003

(3081 votes)

Vote:

Found At: campus computer lab bathroom

There was a genie with an eight foot weinie
who showed it to a girl next door,
She thought it was a snake,
so she hit it with a rake,
now its only six foot four!

Submitted by: Ryan----AK

Added: 4/20/2004

(3029 votes)

Vote:

Found At: a note on the floor

There once was an old hermit named Dave.
Who kept a dead whore in a cave.
She was missing a tit and smelled like shit,
But look at the money he saved.

Submitted by: Dantid

Added: 3/24/2004

(3472 votes)

Vote:

Found At: First Round Tavern, Albany,OR

this is a teepee
for going peepee
not a wigwam
for beating your tomtom

Submitted by: cicatriz

Added: 8/14/2003

(3141 votes)

Vote:

Found At: cocopah bingo

There i sat,
upon my bum,
my face so red,
my ass so numb.
So there i was,
broken hearted,
i pushed so hard,
but only farted.